The order was entirely arbitrary, but Hatfield, a few miles south of the lush greenery of Welwyn Garden City, came up last. Whilst I'd been pretty lucky with the weather during my other the-only-tourist-since-1961 New Town sallies, the trip to Hatfield was grey and dreary and a bit cold. Perhaps that has adversely affected my view of the place. Perhaps. That, or Hatfield New Town is really horrible.
Firstly, it was deserted. Completely. Not even distressing Bracknell was quite so dismal.
Nothing to say.
No-one to say it to.
After appearances on the Roland Rat Show dried up, Erol's career went downhill.
The 50s New Town square and precinct have been completely killed off by the ring-road plastic PoMo shed of the Galleria. But before you reach that, there are a few signs of sort-of life, in the form of more fucking plants (cf Bracknell), and a charity shop/brothel.
The Triffids ill-advisedly chose Hatfield as the site for their invasion of the Earth.
A cyber lady points to her sexy loins, sexily, in the window of a 'charity shop'.
Much like the other New Towns, Hatfield has plans for regeneration of the town centre. 'Phase One', a hoarding announces, 'will be the creation of two new buildings... creating a complete High Street leading down to Asda'. Ah - so that's what's lacking from the town centre. If only the original architects had included two more buildings, then the High Street would've been complete, and all would be well. The whole scheme (um, 5 shops and 15 flats) comes with the dismal caveat 'as market conditions improve'.
Why would the original proposals not have allowed town centre regeneration to be delivered?
I include here a now-and-later imagining of how a nearby tower block will look when rendered and whitewashed.
Oh noes the drab present :'(
Teh future's!!1
The piss-poor / propaganda Photoshop alleges that the dazzling tower will actually be a light source, casting shadows behind the Happy People as they bask in its urban realm.
So, onwards, via the 24 hour Asda, to the Galleria.
All lower case? Good, because that will never date.
Loosely apeing the curved metal arched roofs of Stanstead, the Galleria manages none of the light airiness of Foster's work, and is cluttered with hanging lights and a random divider of fabric.
Most oddly, the Galleria (I'm refusing not to use a capital letter) has almost no useful shops, being some sort of Bicester Village (urg) stylee 'Outlet Park'. Only the Superdrug saves the whole enterprise from being completely superfluous to human needs.
On the way back to train station (hourly fast trains to Kings Cross, for those keen to escape), I came across some cryptic graffiti.
After much deliberation, my best guess is that is that is says 'Steve writing on walls is', but that Yoda-speaking Steve spelt his name wrong. An enthusiastic knuckle-dragger has added a further 'Devvo' of support.
In Hatfield, the mouthbreathers are looked upon as the elite.
I can surely testify to your findings. I managed to live in Hatfield New Town - in the shadows of ASDA - for two years during my course at Hatfield University. It is by far the saddest place I have ever been. Yet I feel still feel sorry for these disillusioned remnants of a glorious 1960s dream!
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