Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Shopping: how to make people buy stuff #1


Make your sign look like nice handwriting by someone
who can't do cursive 's's.


1) Make a pun about your food being bland;
2) Use a font that looks a bit 50s and a bit like Comic Sans Bold.


Create some art that looks a bit like a spine.


Sell from a portacabin.
Everyone loves portacabins.


Spell the name of your shop wrong.


Saturday, 21 January 2012

Foreign: Prague

A caveat: the only camera I had with me was the poxy little thing on my phone.  Hence the largely crap quality, despite the valiant efforts of Photoshop retouching.  Some of the pics therefore have an (almost appropriate) Impressionist smudginess.

I thought I was starting to get bored of the Art Nouveau curvy bling in Prague.  It's everywhere, and amazingly well-preserved.  The Praguish take of Nouveau is less twiddly and organic than Mackintosh's Scottish version, edging towards the geometry of later Deco (which I much prefer).  Nonetheless, I found myself getting punch-drunk from the relentless loveliness.


One of approximately 100,000 Art Nouveau restaurants in Prague.
Beautiful (and authentic) mirrors, chandeliers,
mosaic-tiled walls, windows, frescos... yawn.


I had two hours to kill before the flight back to Blighty.  I'd ticked off a few of the Tourist Must Sees, despite find the whole idea irritatingly crypto-fascist (100 Things You Must Do Or We Will Hurt The Kitten), and rather at-odds with my postmodern psychogeographical 'as found' tourism (ie toddling around somewhat randomly and seeing what I find).  I decided to indulge my particularly gimpy side and have quick spin on the Soviet-built Metro system, and was pleased to find that a 90-minute metro ticket is just 32 Czech Koruna (about a bargainous quid).

I entered at Náměstí Republiky station, which is perhaps the beigest and most 80s-caravan-like station I have ever seen, full of dank browns and orangey laminate wood panels.


Apparently modelled on an MB Games' Simon Says


The camera's white balance insisted on 'correcting' this shot to 
something less brown, but Photoshop has done me proud here.


Rather lovely brown-glass bricks, 
and a yellow block to tell you which line you're on.


Thankfully less brown, the adjacent Muzeum station appears to have  been made from the shells of multicolour Daleks.




I'd asked the hotel receptionist about the main train station, thinking that I might come across the sort of collosal escalators and blast doors that you find on the Kiev metro in the Ukraine (which was designed to double as a fall-out shelter in the event of nuclear war...).  Instead, I emerged at Hlavní Nádraží into a startlingly vibrant red-plastic-and-polished-aluminium bafflement.


Somehow like being in a toaster.


This part of the station had recently been refurbished, and now sports slightly-hypnotic banded flooring.


Scalextricky.


Curtain walling and leaks.


A small sign above an escalator pointed to the 'historical building of the station'.  I was hoping for some cosmic Soviet concrete installation.  But, gosh, I found something rather different: an astounding and semi-derelict Art Nouveau half-coupla, packed with statues, stained glass and flaking frescoes.


but where teh concretes?  :(


Some sculpture porn 
(from my private collection at www.gregs_posh_grot.com)


The defunct station clock, and a hint of the 
lovely stained glass over the main entrance.


The platforms are most easily accessed via the underground walkways from the Very Red station.  But popping through the Nouveau's doors leads to a poignant collection of bronze figures, commemorating Sir Nicholas Winton's rescue of over six hundred Czechoslovakian children just before the outbreak of WWII.







This magnificent old building is apparently due for refurbishment by 2013.  Which I think gives me a lovely reason to plan to go back.

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Very Good Things About London: #4 Happy New Year


The fireworks, from Lambeth Bridge (the best bridge in London), as taken by me.